Journals
by SilverCyanide5689
Summary: A story centered about Callie's journals, with some dialogue in between.
1. Chapter 1

A/n: I don't own any of these characters, yada yada yada. I'm hoping to updated quicker than usual. But I make no promises.

This is going to be based on Callie's journals. With some dialogue in between. Journal entries will be in italics.

 _Monday: Today, Timothy wants us to write about grief. I don't think I have the ability to write about that. Being in the system makes you learn to dehumanize things pretty quickly, so that you don't get hurt. But, Robert is still dead. It's weird to think about. I try not to. But, I can't. The other car he hit was Ana's and he was with Jesus and Mariana at the time, so when I look at the twins, all I see is Robert. I think Ana's baby is going to be okay, but Stef and Lena could just be telling us that out of hope, or fear, or whatever._

"Hey; love, you ready?" Stef asked, coming into Callie's bedroom. She was quickly followed by Lena, both of them in funeral clothes.

"Yeah, just give me a second. You guys don't have to go with me…this isn't my first funeral."

"We wouldn't dream of letting you go alone. It's gonna be hard, I don't think it's hit you yet that he's gone…sorry, that was a poor choice of words given the circumstances," Lena replied.

"Do you not want us there?" Stef asked.

"I don't care."

"There's gonna be a lot of people you don't know there. Don't you want support from your family?" Stef asked.

"You know else I don't know?"

"Who?

"The man in the coffin. He tried to get to know me, but I wouldn't give him the time of day and now he's dead."

"I think he knows you cared about him," Lena stated.

"Maybe. Let's go get this over this."

 _The funeral was weird. I didn't know anyone other than Jill and Sophia. I don't know Jill well enough to hold a conversation with her and even though her Dad just died, I can't forgive Sophia for screwing up my adoption. Does that make me a terrible person? Does it make me even worse of a person that I'm not reacting to my own father's death?_

 _Stef and Lena tried to be supportive during the service, but I think they wanted me to cry. I just don't have it in me._

"How was it?" Mariana asked, coming into the bedroom.

"Fine. How are you?"

"Better. I saw Ana today."

"And?"

"She's good. Her baby should live too."

"Good."

"Do you blame me and Jesus?"

"For what? The car wreck? No not at all, why would I?"

"You just haven't really spoken to either us since…"

"Sorry, but I swear, I don't blame you, or Ana…things happened. I don't think it was anyone's fault.

"Good," Mariana said leaving the bedroom.

 _Do I actually believe that? That is was no ones fault?_

Callie flung the notebook as hard as she could against the wall, Stef picked it up.

"Don't read that!"

"Wasn't going to. But please; love, don't throw things. I can't afford to replace a lamp. Okay?" she said putting the unread journal on Callie's bed.

"Sorry."

"You have every right to be angry. Do you want to come somewhere and chat, just the two of us? I know it's hard to get any privacy with siblings and two parents."

"Are we still gonna have two parents?"

"What do you mean?"

"We can all see it…you and Lena are having issues right now."

"We are. That doesn't mean we won't work them out and it certainly doesn't mean divorce. But stop deflecting the issue…you just went to your father's funeral, are you okay?"

"Yep. Fine."

"Why don't I call your therapist get you can appointment? I think it could do you some good."

"I'm fine."

"Callie…being emotional doesn't make you weak."

"I know."

"So let it out."

"I get he was my father…but how do you miss someone you didn't know?"

"You did know him."

"Not really."

"You weren't close…but that doesn't mean you need to leave all the emotion you are feeling to bottle up."

"Stef, I'm fine."


	2. Chapter 2

"Callie, my love;" Stef said, "Talk to me."

"No!" Callie yelled, getting off of the bed and shoving Stef as hard as she could. Stef didn't fall, but she staggered into the hallway.

"Whoa!" Lena yelled, who was carrying a basket of laundry down the hall, "Unacceptable! Callie, we get you're upset, but you will not lay a hand on anyone in this house, especially your mom, are we clear?"

"You're not my mom!" Callie yelled running downstairs and out of the house before Stef or Lena, both visibly hurt, could respond.

"Are you gonna send her away?" Jude asked, from the corner of the hallway.

"No, not at all. We're gonna give her the time she needs to clean down," Lena responded.

"I'm going to find her. I know what the problem is," Stef said, walking into her bedroom to find car keys.

"Well yeah, her father just died and she feels guilty for not getting to know him," Lena responded when Stef returned to the hallway.

"It goes beyond that."

"How?"

"I need to find her. I'll tell ya later. Jude, don't worry about it. I'm gonna bring her home safe. Okay?"

Jude nodded, Lena returned to the laundry after giving Stef a kiss on the cheek.

Callie had only walked a few blocks before Stef was able to catch up to her in the car, "Callie…please…get in the car," Stef begged, driving slow enough to keep up with Callie's walking pace.

"No!"

"Why?"

"I don't want to. I want to be alone!"

"I will put Mariana on the couch tonight. You can have your room to yourself."

"No!"

"Callie…I'm done playing. Get your ass in this car!"

Callie, realizing that Stef had never seemed so angry, reluctantly obliged and got in the car.

"You need to talk to me."

"The only way I'm staying in this car is if we don't talk."

"My love; has our relationship not proven you can talk to me about anything?"

"I didn't say I couldn't talk to you. I said I don't want to."

"Then I'll talk and you listen."

"Fine, whatever."

"You're not an orphan…"

"That's not the issue here."

"I think it is. I think you realized at the funeral both of your biological parents are now dead…and you haven't been able to get adopted by Lena and me…"

"Maybe it is the issue."

"Lena and me are going to work as hard as we can to get you adopted…Robert withdrew his suit for custody before the accident, it won't be very difficult now."

"Oh please, something else will happen and it'll delay everything. Something always happens."

"We will not let you be taken out of our home. You're not an orphan. Lena and me still want you. You're stuck with two parents who love you, whether you like it or not," Stef said pulling the car back into the driveway, "Go inside…go do your homework…"

"I'm sorry I hit you."

"Apology accepted. Go get on your homework."

Later that night, Stef and Lena sat in their bed, "She felt like an orphan, why?" Lena asked.

"Technically…she is."

"You didn't tell her that, did you?"

"No. Not at all."

"Do you think she's ever gonna feel safe here?"

"Not until we get to sign papers."

"Well, hopefully, it won't be much longer," Lena said.

"Hopefully."

"Oh, remember…you're picking up the kids from school tomorrow. I have a meeting with Monty, I can't I do it."

"You and Monty sure are spending a lot of time together."

"She's my boss and we're trying to keep Anchor Beach open."

"I know, I'm just pointing out…sometimes I think you spend more time with her than you do me."

"Believe me, I'd rather be with you," Lena said kissing her wife.

 _I know we're supposed to write about a fun vacation we took, but I've only been on one vacation and it was camping with the Adams-Fosters and it was terrible. Jude was mad at me, Mariana was mad at Jesus, Jesus was mad at Hayley. It was just a mess. Can we talk about grief again?_

 _Stef told me tonight, I'm not an orphan. It felt good to have those words said, but what's stopping CPS from coming again like they already did? Nothing. That's what._

 _What's stopping CPS from taking Jude, Mariana or Jesus? A piece of paper that says their last name is Adams-Foster. That's what._


	3. Chapter 3

Lena sat with Monty in the office of Anchor Beach, each of them going over grant proposals.

"Lena…I'm sorry…it was unprofessional of me," Monty apologized, "Have you talked to Stef?"

"I haven't. But I feel like I should…she is my wife."

"I hope it doesn't ruin things between you guys…"

"We've been having issues long before you kissed me."

"Wanna talk about?"

"No. Talking about my marriage is what got us in this mess."

"Yeah…so…grants?"

"I think that's best."

That night, after dinner, Lena spoke up, "Guys, me and your mom gonna run an errand…we'll be back soon."

"We do?" Stef asked.

"We do. We have to pick up the supplies for tomorrow."

Stef, oblivious to what Lena was trying to do, obliged and they left the house.

"What's tomorrow?"

"Nothing. But I really need to talk to you and that wasn't going to happen in a house full of five teenagers."

"Oh, who screwed up now?"

"I did."

 _Lena and Stef are talking about their marriage. I don't know if they're talking about how Monty kissed Lena. But, I'm sure they are. How do I know about that? Please, who doesn't know about that? (Stef, apparently). I hope they work it out…_

 _Today, Timothy wants us to write about…you know what? I have no idea what he wants us to write about. He just said…write. So…okay._

"I wonder if Moms are getting a divorce…" Mariana said coming into the bedroom and plopping down on her bed.

Callie shrugged, "I hope not."

"If they do…who are you gonna live with?"

"I don't get a say if they divorce…I'm not legally their child. I go wherever the state sends me."

"I want to go with Lena…"

"Hey, do you think it would be okay with Connor came over?" Jude asked from the doorway, "I meant to ask mom but they went on that errand pretty quickly."

"Not tonight Jude…and there isn't an errand."

"Where are Moms going?"

"They might be getting a divorce," Mariana stated.

"Why?"

"Did you not hear? Monty kissed Momma," Jesus said, coming from behind Jude.

"Yeah…from what I hear, it was a pretty passionate kiss too…" Brandon said, joining the conversation.

In the car, Stef and Lena sat quietly.

"It didn't mean anything. I promise," Lena said apologetically.

"Is that why you've been spending so much time with Monty? Because you're having an affair with your boss?"

"Stef, no. I love you! I love our kids! I love everything we have built! If I was having an affair, would I tell you about it?"

"I guess not…when did it happen?"

"Couple weeks ago."

"You waited a couple weeks to tell me?"

"Well, we were so wrapped up in everything with Callie and Robert withdrawing his suit for custody and then the car wreck and Jude and Connor, I just felt like those things were more important."

"More important than our marriage?"

"At the time? Yes. Our children needed help. I'm coming to you now…"

"I guess. I'm gonna need time to process this…" Stef said getting out of the car.

"Stef, please…talk to me," Lena said getting out of the car as well.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'll be on the couch."

"No, you can't sleep on the couch. The kids will know we're having problems…"

"They already know. Callie asked me if we were getting a divorce."

"Are we?"

"I don't know. This sucks…but I think we can both agree things have sucked between us for awhile," Stef replied.

"Every marriage is going to have valleys…Stef, we can work this out."

"Maybe. In the meantime, I'll be on the couch," Stef said walking back into the house where she was met by all five children on the steps.

"So…are you divorcing?" Jesus blurted out.

"Not tonight," Stef responded, pulling a spare blanket and pillow from the storage closet and tossing them onto the couch.

 _I can't sleep and from the sounds of it, neither can anyone else. I can hear Lena crying from the bedroom. I wonder if Stef is crying. I wonder if Monty knows she wrecked our family._


	4. Chapter 4

Later that evening, when everyone had finally fallen asleep, Callie, who had obviously not slept at all, roamed into the kitchen and found Lena sitting at the table, focused on her laptop.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" Lena asked not looking up from her laptop.

"No. Can we talk?"

"Sure," Lena said closing her laptop and focusing on Callie who sat across from her, "Do I need to get Stef?"

"No. Stef can't help me."

"Callie…that's fine, but you do know if it's important enough, I'm going to have to tell her, right?"

"It's nothing like that."

"Okay, what's up?"

"Do you miss Frankie?"

Lena tensed, she tried her best not to think of the baby she had lost, "All the time, why?"

"How do you miss someone you never met?"

"Is this about Robert?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I think the two situations are too different to compare. Robert was your father…"

"But I didn't know him. Everyone was crying at the funeral, except me."

"Stef and I didn't cry."

"You know what I meant."

"Callie, I think you're reading too deeply into this. Not crying at a funeral doesn't mean anything. Do you remember going to Frank's funeral?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't cry there…"

"But that makes sense. He didn't approve of your marriage. At least not until the end… Robert tried to get to know me…I wouldn't let him because I figured, if I let him into my life he'll take me out of this house and separate me from Jude."

"Have you talked with Sophia at all?"

"No. I still can't look at her…she screwed up the only decent thing to ever…almost… happen to me. I can't forgive her."

"Well, maybe the first step in accepting Robert's death is getting to know your sister. She might have a few issues, but she seems like an okay kid."

"Can I invite her over for dinner?"

"Yeah, let me talk with mom and see when a good time is, we can invite Jill too."

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier…for saying you weren't my mom."

"Apology accepted, what do you say we get some sleep, hm?"

"Okay."

"Callie…can I talk to momma?" Stef asked as she appeared from the doorway.

"Uh, sure. Night."

"Night; love," Stef said kissing Callie on the head.

"Stef, it's two in the morning…can we talk tomorrow?"

"When are we gonna have time to ourselves with five teenagers and a baby on the way?"

"Okay, what?" Lena asked.

"Do you still love me?" Stef asked, refusing to make eye contact with Lena.

"I do."

"Do you love Monty?"

"No. It was a moment of indiscretion. I love you. Do you love me?"

"I do. But I can't get past this. I don't know how."

"Do you want me to quit my job?"

"No. We can't support five teenagers and an infant on my salary. If we're gonna stay together we need two incomes."

"Are we gonna stay together?" Lena asked.

"I think…I need to stay a few days at my mom's to figure this out." Stef replied.

"What do we tell the kids?"

"The truth. They're going to figure it out eventually."


	5. Chapter 5

That morning, before school, Stef and Lena sat everyone on the couch.

"So, you're divorcing?" Mariana asked.

"Not at all. Mommas just need a break from each other."

"So, you're separating?" Brandon asked.

"Not officially. Think of it as a vacation." Lena suggested.

"Vacation? From your kids and wife?" Jude asked.

"Okay, maybe vacation wasn't the right term. The point here is…we are not divorcing, but your Mom is going to be spending a week with Grandma."

"What happens to me?" Callie asked.

"Callie, you are staying in this house," Stef said.

"Okay, but if you divorce, I won't get adopted…and CPS will come and take me again."

"We're not getting a divorce. So don't worry."

"Can we call you while you're on…vacation?" Jesus asked, "What if we need something?"

"Absolutely. Nothing changes in that regard; loves. I'm still your mom and, if god forbid, there's an emergency, I'll be there next to Momma, okay?"

"I don't like this," Mariana said.

"Neither do we. But, it's what needs to happen," Lena said, "Why don't you all head to school?"

At school, Lena was roaming the halls, like she did occasionally to try and catch kids skipping class. She saw Monty and Callie arguing about something, but decided to just watch for the time being.

"Callie…do what I said."

"Make me."

"I can give you a week's worth of detention in my office and you'll still have to do what I said."

"Okay. I have a week's worth of detention. You kissed Lena…I'm not listening to anything you have to say. Stef is leaving for the week because she's trying to determine if she wants to stay in the marriage. So, yes. I think you're a bitch. No, I won't apologize."

"Callie!" Lena said finally intervening, "My office, now!"

"Lena, do you think you need to be handling this? Maybe I should get a non-biased party involved."

"I'm not biased at all. My home life and my work life are completely separate."

Lena and Callie sat in Lena's office, "I'm not apologizing."

"I'm not asking you to. Thank you, for feeling like you need to stand up for your mom and me but you don't have to. I know it sucks, but you do have to respect Monty, whether you like her as a person or not…she is your principal."

"You should be."

"I'm not. So that's irrelevant."

"I'm sorry. I just…lost my cool."

"Everyone does from time to time. It's okay."

"Can I go to class?"

"Yep."

"Do I have to serve detention?"

"Yep."

"You can't get me out of it?"

"I probably could. But, that would be playing favorites and I don't need that kind of drama within the student body right so. So, no."

Lena's office phone rang, "Hello? – Absolutely! – When is she coming home? – Okay, can I bring her siblings? – Five. Alright, bye." Lena focused on Callie, "Any chance you know your brother's and Mariana's class schedule?"

"Yeah."

"Go pull them from class," Lena said taking out a handful of hall passes.

"Why?"

"Wanna go meet your sister?"

Callie ran off in excitement, Lena quickly phoned Stef, who didn't answer, she quickly phoned Mike, who did answer but wasn't with Stef. The next logical step was to call Stef at her mother's house, she finally answered, "Stef! – We have a baby!"

Everyone gathered at the hospital, Stef tried to avoid Lena who sat with the kids in the corner of the waiting room, trying not to notice that her wife was avoiding her. Finally, Stef's mom stepped up, "Stef, get over yourself! Do you love Lena?"

"I do."

"Then get passed this and go celebrate the birth of your daughter with her."

"Mom…I can't. She kissed someone else."

"She did. Can you not tell her damn guilty she feels about it? I love having you at my house but running away from your problems isn't going to solve them. It was a kiss, it's not the two of them had sex on your kitchen table. Besides that, if, God forbid, you divorce, what happens to Callie?"

"Yeah."

"If you love her, go be with your wife."

Stef walked over to Lena, and without saying a word, grabbed her hand and left the hospital. Against the wall of the hospital, Stef kissed Lena.

"Does this mean we're okay?" Lena asked.

"No. It means we have six children that need us together more than we need to be apart. I love you…I'm just going to need time and space to deal with this."

"I can give you that."

"Good. Let's go meet our daughter."

"Six children, are we crazy?" Lena asked with a laugh.

"Yes," Stef replied.


	6. Chapter 6

_She won't be home for a few days. But we have a baby! Isabella! It's weird to be a big sister again. It's gonna be weird having an infant in the house. I've never had to deal with infants before. Unless you count Jude, but I didn't really help with him. Stef and Lena aren't separating. Stef decided to stay at home. I'm glad. Hearing that she wanted to spend the week with her mom turned my stomach to knots, like my actual parents were divorcing. Hell, Stef and Lena are my actual parents. Unless you count Donald (which I don't) I don't have any parents left. So…why can't I call them mom/momma with everyone else? I know they're my real parents in my head. I wonder if I'll be able to say it once I get adopted._

Callie sighed, closed her notebook and walked into the kitchen where she found Stef and Lena having a conversation.

"Hey; love. What's up?" Stef asked.

"I can come back."

"We aren't talking about anything important. What's up?" Lena asked.

"I was wondering if…if…"

"If…" Lena repeated.

"We can't give you an answer unless you ask us." Stef replied.

"It would be okay…if I started calling you "mom"?"

"Did you really think we were going to say no to something like that?" Stef asked, "Of course!"

"I wanted to be sure. We don't the paperwork yet…"

"Callie…" Lena began, "I get why being adopted is so important to you, I do. But you're staying in this house whether your last name is Jacobs or Adams-Foster. Stop putting so much weight on a piece of paper."'

"I can't."

"Why?" Stef asked.

"It's what ties you guys together to everyone else in this house. That piece of paper is their anchor."

"What was the anchor before we adopted the twins and Jude?" Stef asked.

Callie shrugged.

"Love," Lena said, "We love you. We would love for you to be able to call us mom. But if you're only doing it because you think, if you don't, we won't adopt you. That's silly. You can call us anything you want…"

"Okay. When does Isabella get to come home?"

"Few days. She's still underweight," Stef said.

"Oh. And Ana?"

"She's okay."

"How come Robert was the only one killed?"

"You're never gonna have an answer to that one, love. Stop torturing yourself trying to find one," Stef said.

"Did you talk to Jill about when a good time she can come for dinner is?"

"We're inviting Jill over for dinner?" Stef asked.

"Lena…er…Momma made me realize that even though Robert is dead, I still have a sister and he'd like for us to get to know each other."

"So, you're not mad at her anymore?"

"I am. But me being mad at her doesn't change the fact she's my sister."

"I haven't," Lena said, "with all this baby stuff, why don't we wait a few weeks?"

Callie nodded and walked off back towards her bedroom.

"Well, that was weird," Stef said.

"What was?"

"I don't know, all of it. I just got a feeling there's more going on with her."

"There's always more going on with her."

"On the bright side, she wants to call us mom."


	7. Chapter 7

The next day, Callie sat in Monty's office impatiently waiting for her detention to end, refusing to do the worksheet that had been presented her.

"You don't leave until that worksheet is done," Monty said not looking up from her laptop.

Callie crumpled up the paper and tossed it into the wastebasket, "Done."

"Take it down a notch or you'll get another week."

"Bring it. I'm not listening to you."

"Fine. Another week."

Almost on cue, Stef walked in, "Callie, ready?"

"Yeah," Callie said standing up and grabbing her things.

"Stef, can I talk to you?"

"That would depend on what it's about."

"It's about Callie."

Stef sighed, "Sure. Callie go wait outside."

Stef walked out of the office a few minutes later, "Come on,"

They walked outside Anchor Beach as Callie scanned the parking lot, "where's the car?"

"At the house."

"Why?"

"You and I are gonna take a walk."

"Why?"

"Because I want to check in and it's pretty impossible to do that in our house right now."

"Oh, okay."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yep."

"My conversations with your Momma and your principal prove otherwise."

"What did Le-….momma say?"

"The same thing Monty said. You're taking out your anger on Monty…love, I get your confused right now and I get Monty screwed up and I get Lena screwed up, but you cannot go taking your anger out on her, yes?"

"Talk to me. We can figure this out."

Callie shrugged.

"You do know. Talk to me."

"Don't we need to be home to help with dinner?"

"I think Lena, the twins, and Brandon can handle it. Lena knows my cell number if there's any issues. Talk to me."

"Where are you taking me?" Callie asked realizing they had missed the turn that lead to the house.

"You'll see. Stop changing the subject."

"Stef…mom…I'm fine. Really. I've just had a couple bad days."

"Love…stop torturing yourself, if you're not ready to call us mom, that's okay."

"But you are my…mom…"

"I am. But both Lena and I understand why it would be difficult for you to call us mom. Hell, if once we get your adoption squared away you still can't say it, we're not gonna disown you."

"Promise?"

"Is that what you're afraid of?"

"Yeah."

Stef stopped walking and embraced Callie, "Lena and I want you. We will always want you. We love you."

"Jude and the twins don't have a problem saying it."

"First off, it's bad to compare yourself to your siblings…second, Jude didn't have a relationship with your mom the way you did. He knew her, but he was pretty young when she died, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I think you've heard enough stories about Ana to know she wasn't a fit mother…and the twins grew up with us. That makes a difference. You are as much mine and Lena's child as Brandon, Jesus, Mariana, Jude, or Isabella, okay?"

"I guess."

"We're here," Stef said.

"A cemetery?"

"Yeah, Robert's grave is just up here."

"Stef…I don't want to."

"Love, you have to let it out."

"Not here."

"Why?"

"I just…seeing his grave for the first time makes it real."

"It is real. Whether you can admit it or not."

Callie collapsed into Stef's arms and began sobbing. Stef gently held her and made shushing noises.

At home, Stef and Lena prepared for bed, "So, is everything okay with Callie?" Lena asked.

"For now."

"Do you think she'll get scared and run away…again?"

"No."

"Maybe the three of us need to do something….show her she's out daughter as much as Mariana."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. We'll think of something."

"Oh, the judge called about Isabella today," Stef began, "As soon as she's healthy enough to come home, we call him and she can be adopted."

"Do we really want to adopt Isabella before we adopt Callie? Isabella is an infant, it's not like she'll remember not being adopted the way Callie does…"


	8. Chapter 8

"But, do we want to put Isabella through what Callie has been through because of the system?" Stef asked.

"Of course not. But Isabella isn't going anywhere."

"She could," we both know how the system works.

"Let's go talk to her. If she doesn't have a problem with us adopting Isabella first, then we will. If she does, we won't, is that fair?" Lena asked.

"Yeah."

Stef and Lena both slowly walked into Callie's room, where she was talking to Mariana, "is it important?" Stef asked.

"Not really. What's up?" Callie asked.

"Mariana, can we talk to Callie alone?" Lena asked.

"Sure," Mariana said walking out of the room.

"Callie, momma and I need to talk to you," Stef began.

"You want to know if it's okay that you adopt Isabella before you adopt me…"

"How…?" Lena asked.

Callie pointed to the air vent in the corner of the room, "Mariana and I heard everything."

"Love, be honest with us, would you be okay with that?" Stef asked.

Callie didn't respond, but rolled over on to bed, with her back facing them.

"Lena…" Stef asked.

"It's okay. I get it," Lena stepped out of the room only to meet Mariana in the hallway.

"Are you gonna do it?" Mariana asked, "Adopt Isabella?"

"Yeah, if Callie is okay with it."

"Cool!"

"You know what…let's talk," Lena said ushering Mariana into her and Stef's bedroom.

"What's up?"

"Did something happen with you and Wyatt the night of the party at anchor beach?"

"Are you asking because you already know?"

"Just answer me."

"Yeah…I was mad at Matt…"

"Callie know?"

"No. I was about to tell her when you guys walked in."

"I made you an appointment to be put on birth control."

"I don't want to be put on birth control."

"I don't want to be a grandma."

"Can you, me, and mom talk about it?"

"Sure. Why, though?"

"Why, what?"

"Why would you have sex…and more importantly, loose your virginity, to your sister's ex-boyfriend?"

"No!" Callie yelled from the hallway, running back into her room and slamming the door.

"I can't fix that one," Stef said, "Mariana…you'll need to talk to her. But, you will leave her alone for tonight and you're going to sleep on the couch tonight, got it?"

"Yeah," Mariana said with her head hung.

"Hey. It's okay."

"Do I have to go on birth control?"

"I think that's best. But we'll see what your doctor says," Stef said.


	9. Chapter 9

"Can the three of us sit down and talk about it?" Mariana asked.

"Of course. But not now," Stef said, "Let me talk to your momma."

"How's Callie?" Lena asked.

"I can't get her to talk to me."

"At all?"

"At all."

"Want me to try?"

"I think this thing with Mariana takes precedence."

 _Is it wrong that I want to be adopted first? Does that make me a bad sister? I want what's best for Isabella, just like everyone else…but she's a baby. She's going to have to deal with foster parents smacking her across the room when she doesn't obey. Stef and Lena will fight for her. I'll fight for her. Jude will fight for her. Brandon will fight for her. Jesus and Mariana sure as hell will fight for her. But I need to be adopted more._

Callie stuffed the notebook under mattress. Ashamed of how selfish she knew she was being, but she couldn't do anything about it. Or didn't want to do anything about it. She wasn't sure which.

"Callie?" Lena asked, coming into the room. Callie positioned herself so that her back was facing Lena, "Hey, take it down a notch. We're on your side."

No response.

"It's clearly bothering you that we asked if you would mind getting adopted after Isabella. I'm sorry, we should have never asked."

Callie got up from her bed, without a word, and left the room.

A few hours later, Stef was looking out the window of the kitchen that led to the backyard while doing dishes and found Callie sitting under a tree, sobbing, she motioned for Lena across the room, "How long has she been out there?"

"All afternoon."

"Why are we not trying to help her?"

"She won't talk to either of us. She needs time."

"No. What she needs is to be adopted. I called the judge today…"

"And?"

"Social services has to come over and do an assessment before she can be adopted."

"Why?"

"The number of children under our care. Isabella can't be adopted until it's done, either."

"That's bullshit," Lena said.

"No argument from me. Finish up here?" Stef asked, handing Lena the dish towel, as she went outside.

Stef silently sat next to Callie, without saying a word.

"Do you think everything happens for a reason?" Callie finally asked.

"To some degree."

"Do you think my placement with you and Lena happened for a reason?"

"Do you?"

Callie shrugged, "What do I do if I can't get adopted?"

"The same thing you're doing now. You'll stay here."

"Why do you want me?"

"What do you mean?"

"All I do is screw up…"

"Callie, you're sixteen. Screw ups happen. You're going to be screwing up the rest of your life. Hell, Lena and I are trying to fix a major screw up between the two of us right now. Did you do something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why are you worried about screwing up?"

"Answer my question…why do you want me?"

"I love you. Lena loves you. Jude loves you."

"Why?"

"You'll understand when you become a mom…when Bill first placed you here…you were one of the most hostile kids I've ever met, and for good reasons. But, seeing you grow into this amazing woman who can actually open up to me and your momma instead of clamming up like you used to…makes it all worth it. Screw ups and all. Listen, I called the judge today, social services is going to be coming by to do an assessment. This is not, I repeat, is not, to have you removed from this house. It is solely because we're looking to adopt two children, which will give us six children, and that's a lot. They want to make sure Lena and I aren't some foster parents who are only foster parents to take advantage of the system…okay?"

"Yeah?"

"As soon as that gets squared away, you can be adopted. A month, maybe six weeks, tops."

"I'm not holding my breath."


	10. Chapter 10

A/n: Sorry it's been so long to update. Life has been a bucket of crazy lately. Hopefully, things will get back on track now.

Stef and Lena sat in their very first couple's therapy session. Stef wore her uniform, even though Lena knew she didn't have to work. Lena wondered if Stef wearing the cop uniform had to do with Stef feeling like she needed to be in charge.

"When do you think the lack of communication started?" the therapist asked.

"I think we've always had issues…" Lena said.

"How long have you been married?"

"Year," Lena answered.

"Why fix the problem now?"

"Because I love my wife," Lena answered.

The session continued with Lena answering the questions and Stef talking as little as possible.

On the way home, Lena finally spoke up, "Look, I get it. You don't want to do couple's therapy. It's stupid. It's beneath you. I don't know what you have against it. But get over it."

"I just don't think someone needs to be telling us how to live in our marriage. Our marriage has survived this long…"

"and how many problems have we had because we can't communicate?"

"I'm going to need time. That's it. We can pay for all the couple's therapy in the world…but I'm still going to need time. You kissed your boss."

"and I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch tonight?" Lena asked.

"I do."

"Fine. When it's this stupid assessment?" Lena asked pulling into the driveway.

"Well, judging by the guy in the suit talking to Jude on the porch, now." Stef said, getting out of the car as quickly as she could. "Whoa! What is going on?"

"Mom, it's okay," Jude assured her.

"Jude. Step inside for me."

Once Jude was out of earshot, Stef spoke, "You're breaking the law when a cop lives here? Neither me or my wife were notified that you were coming."

"I'm not breaking any laws ma'am. You're not to be present in these interviews…the children need to feel safe while discussing things with me."

"Clearly, I don't beat my son…clearly, I feed him…clearly, he has a house that has room for him. Are you done?"

"Not until I talk to all the children. Do you not want me to talk to the foster children because you're hiding something?"

"The only foster child here is Callie, because the state will not allow me and my wife to adopt her until this bullshit is completed. Jude, has legally been my son for a year. Brandon is my biological son and Mariana and Jesus were adopted when they were eight. So, don't use the word foster child…especially around Callie, we clear?"

"Ma'am, I'm just doing my job."

"Are we clear?"

"Sir," Lena said intervening, "I'm sorry. We've had a really rough week…she doesn't mean it."

"Yes I do. I hate social services," Stef said.

"That may be. But the longer you stay arguing with me, the longer it's going to take me to do my job and the longer Callie will have to wait."

"Fine. Who do you need to talk to?"

"Jude. I wasn't done."

"Mom, it's okay. I've talked to social services before," Jude said coming around from the corner.

Stef and Lena walked inside and found the other children on the couch.

"What's up?" Lena said, noticing that Callie and Mariana were on opposite sides of the room, but decided not to press the issue.

"Waiting on our time with Mr. Social Services," Jesus said.

"Momma, can I talk to you?" Mariana asked.

"Sure, talk to Momma about the problems you're having, but don't talk about the problems with the person you're having them with. Makes total sense," Callie snipped.

"You know what, both of you…bedroom. Now," Lena demanded, "Stef, we need you!"

"I think you have this. I'm going to make sure Mr. Social Services stays within the law."

"Stef! He is not going to molest Jude on the porch! Now!" Lena yelled.

Stef, realizing how serious Lena was, obliged.

Callie and Mariana sat on opposite sides of their room, ignoring each other.

"Look, Mariana had sex with Wyatt, no getting around that," Lena said, "Callie, you're upset Mariana had sex with Wyatt. No getting around that."

"But today is not the day to be mad at each other," Stef said.

"I think right now is perfectly fine," Lena said, "In fact, unless you're wanted downstairs with…what are we calling him? Mr. Social Services…the two of you are not leaving this room until you work it out. Your mom…so that she does not go totally crazy about not being able to spy on Mr. Social Services is going to stay with you, but will not intervene…" Lena said leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

"Dang, momma got forceful…" Mariana said.

"I know…I like it," Stef said staring longingly at the door for a few seconds too many, suddenly clearing her throat and crossing her legs, waiting on the girls to speak.

"I'm not talking to you…" Callie said.

"Fine. Don't. But give me your phones, both of you."

Callie and Mariana both reluctantly handed over their phones, which were placed in Stef's pocket, "Callie, your journal…"

"Are you gonna read it?"

"Nope. But I am taking away every means you guys have to not talk to each other. Hand it over."

Callie dug under her mattress and found it, handed it to Stef who placed it next to her. Making sure that Callie saw that it remained unopened.

Nearly fifteen minutes went by without a word from Mariana or Callie.

"Okay guys, I have things to do," Stef said, "that preferably involve being downstairs giving Mr. Social Services a hard time. Talk."

"No," Callie said.

"I don't know how…" Mariana said.

"Okay, Mariana…tell Callie why you did it."

"Because…Matt didn't want to have sex with me and I didn't want to be a virgin anymore."

"Why not?" Callie asked.

"Nobody else in this house is."

"Jude is."

"Okay, fine. Most of this house. I was tired of it."

"Why? If I could be a virgin again…I would be."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Sex is a big deal. I hate how you just lost it on a whim. I mean, I don't like that you lost it to my ex, that bugs me too….but….to just have sex because you can….at least for your first time…."

"Mariana…Mr. Social services wants you," Lena said poking her head through the door.

"Okay…" Mariana acknowledged, leaving the room.

"Callie, can you be honest with me for a second?" Stef asked.

"Okay."

"Does what's going on with you and Mariana have to do with Mariana and Wyatt or does it have to do with you and Liam?"


	11. Chapter 11

"I don't want to talk about Liam," Callie said almost instinctively crossing her legs.

"I think you need to."

"No."

"Is that why you made out with AJ after your party?"

"Is what because I made out with AJ?"

"Because you're mad and Wyatt because you're mad at Liam…and AJ was available?"

"No."

"Can we talk about AJ, since you don't want to talk about Liam?"

"No."

"Please?" Stef pleaded.

"What do you want to know?"

"Did you just make out?"

"Yeah."

"Who instigated?"

"Both of us…I guess."

"But you know the rule of dating foster siblings…"

"Mike said he was taking AJ. Didn't think it counted."

"Stop lying. You knew very well it counted…why would you mess up your chances of getting adopted over a boy?"

Callie began to cry, but stifled the tears, "I just…I'm sick of being considered a _foster kid_ , I needed to blow off steam…I wasn't thinking of my adoption when we kissed."

"I know you weren't."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Disappointed. I can't trust you right now."

"Yes you can!"

"No Callie, I can't."

"I made out with Brandon…at your wedding! How is this any different?!"

"You ran away after that. Landed yourself with Rita. Do you want to go back to Rita?"

"No! I want to stay here! I just…."

"Speak words."

"Everything sucks right now…"

"Speak words."

"Mariana had sex with my ex-boyfriend! You don't do that!"

"I agree. But she did and there's no getting around it."

"She had Matt!"

"Matt, apparently, didn't want to have sex and then leave for that tour…and make her feel exactly like she does now. Matt did the right thing."

"Whatever."

"Let's talk about Liam."

"No."

"Do you think about him a lot?" Stef said continuing to press the issue.

"No. He's out of my life."

"He is. But that doesn't mean he doesn't cross your mind occasionally."

"Can this stay between us?"

"Of course."

"Sometimes it feels like he's still on top of me. I can't breathe…and I have no control over my own body."

"How often do you feel like this?"

"Most nights."

"Does your therapist know?"

"Yeah."

"What does she say?"

"That it'll stop in time…"

"It should. Can we talk about why you're lashing out at your sister?"

"She had sex with Wyatt, why shouldn't I be mad?"

"Did you and Wyatt ever have sex?"

"No. We were going to. But I freaked out."

"Is that what you're mad about? Mariana…accomplished something with Wyatt you couldn't?"

"No. I'm mad because she had sex with my ex. Not everything has some deep meaning."

"But with you, it typically does…"

"Callie…Mr. Social Services wants you," Lena said coming into the room.

Callie walked downstairs and onto the porch and sat next to the man from social services.

"Callie Jacobs, right?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you like living here?"

"Yeah."

"What do you think of it?"

"it's fine. It's stable."

"It's a lot of kids, huh?"

"I guess."

"Do you like having that many siblings?"

"I guess."

"You guess?"

"Somedays, it sucks…but…we all have each other's back…"

"And do your moms have your back?"

"Always."

"Do they ever hurt you?"

"Never."

"Doesn't have to be physically…"

"No. They've never done anything but love me."

"But...you ran away?"

"Because I was scared."

"Are you scared often?"

"No."

"But you were scared then?"

"It was new. I wasn't used to people caring about me. It was overwhelming."

"But, you're used to it now."

"Yeah."

"Do you relate to Stef or Lena better?"

"Stef. But I know Lena is there when I need her."

"Why do you relate to Stef better?"

Callie shrugged, "Some people relate better to their dads…why is it unusual that I relate better to one of my mom's?"

"How do you think your life will change once you're adopted?"

"I think the only thing that'll change will be my last name."

"If that's the case…you're seventeen, why bother?"

"I want to anchor that all the other kids have."

"Why don't you feel like you have that?"

"Because people like you, for the next year, have the ability to force me to move out of this house and I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it."

"What happened to AJ?"

"Stef and Lena decided he needed to be in another foster home."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Ask them."

"Did you have a physical relationship with AJ?"

"No. I know the rules."

"Are you having a physical relationship with Brandon or Jesus?"

"No. I know the rules, and Brandon and Jesus are my brothers…ew."

"Okay…I'm done. Send me…Brandon."

"Okay."

Callie walked back into the house, got Brandon and stepped back into her bedroom.

"Mariana, I'm sorry I'm mad…but I'm gonna be mad for awhile. But me being mad doesn't mean I don't love you…so, are we cool?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Mariana responded.

"Good. I'll be downstairs if you need me…" Stef said rushing down the steps.


	12. Chapter 12

A/n: sorry for the delay. Major case of writer's block up in here.

 _Why am I disposable? Why am I not worth being adopted? Why am I not allowed a mother's love like everyone else in this damn house? Why, why, why?_

 _Timothy wants us to write about our biggest fear. I'd love to tell you that my biggest fear is heights or snakes or whatever trivial thing people are afraid of. But I can't. My biggest fear is aging out of the system. When I age out, Stef and Lena won't get money from the state for me. I now the paycheck isn't why they took Jude and me in, I do. But it's still an income that they won't have anymore. I don't even care if I'm adopted…I just want to know that I'll be safe once I turn eighteen. Adoption seems like the easiest way to secure my safety. I know they won't have the paycheck once I'm adopted…but at least once I'm adopted…they can't negate that decision, can they?_

Stef cried as she read her daughter's latest entry. Lena, passing by with an armful of towels, saw her, "What's up?"

"Go put those up and come here…"

Lena returned a few seconds later and sat on the edge of the bed with Stef, "Read this…" Stef said handing her the notebook.

"Shit, mom," Lena said wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

"What do we do?"

"Do you read her journal often?"

"All the time."

"Why?"

"How do you think I always know what's wrong?"

"I don't know, it just seems wrong. Privacy is important to a kid her age."

"You know what else seems wrong?" Stef rhetorically asked.

"I know, I know…talk to her. She opens up to you."

After school, Callie and Mariana walked into the bedroom to find Stef sitting on Callie's bed.

"Who's in trouble?" Mariana asked.

"Nobody. But I need to talk to Callie."

"Um…okay," Callie said.

Once Mariana had closed the door, Stef spoke, "Your biggest fear is aging out of the system?"

"You read my journal?!"

"I did."

"That's not fair! That's mine!"

"I know, and nothing you wrote will leave this room. I promise. But we need to talk."

"No. Why am I expected to talk to someone who doesn't respect my privacy?"

"I'm trying to help you through this. I know the last few weeks haven't been very good for you."

"I'm fine. Leave it alone," Callie said storming out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Hey, don't slam doors," Lena called.

"Let me guess, Stef showed you what I wrote?"

"She did."

Callie sat on the couch and screamed into a pillow as loud as she could.

"Callie…everything is going to be okay," Lena assured her.

"No, that's mine! Do you read Mariana's journal?"

"We have in the past. Yes."

"Whatever…"

"Parents have a right to know what's going on in their kid's lives."

"and I agree…but come to me, don't go through my stuff!"

"Okay. I promise we will never touch your journal again and I'll do you one better, while I'm running around tomorrow, I will pick you up a journal that locks, how's that?"

"Locks can be pried."

"and I promise we won't do that."

"How can I trust you?"

"I guess you'll just have to…can we talk about what you wrote?"

"No."

"Please, love?" Stef said coming and sitting on the other side of Callie.

"I was being melodramatic, I'm fine."

"That didn't sound melodramatic. That sounded sincere. Like, you think we only love you because we get a paycheck out of it," Lena remarked.

"Isn't that why you chose to be foster parents?"

"No," Stef said, "we chose to be foster parents, because it's obviously pretty impossible for Lena and I to have kids together, but we both know kids out in the world do need love and support and we felt like we can provide that."

"You can't provide love and support for Aj?"

"We could. But Mike can do a better job…

Callie grabbed the pillow and screamed into it again, "I'm sorry I messed things up…again!"

"We got a little off track. We didn't wreck. We're okay," Stef said.

"And the assessment seems like it went well, yes?" Lena asked.

"I think so," Callie said with a nod.

"Then it's only a matter of time…" Lena replied.


	13. Chapter 13

"Why don't you get ready for dinner, hm?" Stef suggested.

"Okay," Callie said walking off.

"Im keeping her home from school tomorrow…" Stef said once Calle was out of earshot.

"Why?" Lena asked.

"Because I want to spend time with her, just us. I mean, the three of us, if you can take the day off."

"Probably," Lena said with a nod.

"Hey…moms?" Jude asked coming into the living room, biting his lower lip.

"What's up?" Stef asked.

"I can come back…"

"No, you're okay. What's up?" Lena asked.

"Can I stay home from school tomorrow too?"

"Why?" Stef asked.

"I don't feel good."

"Go take your temp…we'll see."

"I already did."

"And?" Lena asked.

"It's normal."

"Then you're going to school…" Stef said.

"And just for the sake of my own curiosity, if you want to stay home…why tell the truth and tell us your temp is normal?" Lena asked.

"Lying never seems to help anyone here…"

"Good job, kid. But no, unless you're legitimately sick, you're going to school," Stef replied.

"Do you have a test you didn't study for?" Lena asked.

"No."

"Why do you want to stay home?"

"I want to spend time with my sister, just like you."

"Mom and I have our own agenda, the two of you can spend time together anytime, okay?"

Jude nodded, clearly defeated.

"Go get ready for dinner, love," Stef told him.

Jude walked off, and Lena laid her head down in Stef's lap, "I can't deal with more family drama right now."

"We've got it. What do you think is going on, did he have a fight with Connor?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, when he's ready to talk about it…he will."

Lena nodded, "Are you ready to talk about us?"

"Not on this couch with five children listening to our every word."

The next morning, as Callie was getting ready for school, Stef approached the bathroom door, "Wanna play hooky?"

"Why?"

"Just because."

"Is anyone else skipping school?"

"Nope."

"What's your game?"

"No games. Do you want to go to school or not?"

"Not really. I have a math test I don't want to take."

"Good. Because I've already called you out."

Callie rose her eyebrows, "what's going on?"

"Absolutely nothing. Me and momma are just fully aware that sometimes, the last place you want to be, is school."

"Oh, okay…"

"Speaking of school, have you spoken to Jude about school at all?"

"No, why?"

"He's struggling with something school related and doesn't want to tell us."

"I don't know, sorry."

"Did he have a fight with Connor?"

"I don't think so."

"Good. So, the day is yours…what do you want to do?"

Callie shrugged.

"We can go somewhere, we can stay home, it's up to you."

"Me, you and Stef?"

"Yep."

"I repeat, what's your game?"

"Nothing. The three of are just gonna have a mother-daughter…blow off some steam day."

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

"So, everyone has left, what's the plan for today?" Lena asked.

"Callie still doesn't believe we don't have some secret agenda…"

"Well, we do. Kind of."

"Kind of?" Callie asked.

"We want you to feel like as much as our daughter as Mariana is…we did this with her when she first moved in…"

"Speaking of daughters…"

"Yeah?" Stef asked.

"Isabella has been out of the hospital for over a week. When are you gonna tell Mariana and Jesus that Ana decided to keep her?"

"How'd you know?"

"Brandon and I went over to the hospital the other day after school to see her…"

"Oh, let us worry about that, okay?" Stef pleaded.

"Sure. What did you and Mariana do on your day off?"

"Hung out here. Watched movies. Board games. Nothing overly horrendous."

"Can we just do that?"

"Sure. Go pick out a movie, Lena said as her cell phone rang, once she hung up, she looked at Stef and sighed, "I know I promised to take today off."

"Go deal with what you need to deal with. We'll be okay for a bit."

Lena arrived at the school, walked into the office and found Jude sitting, handcuffed to a chair, with a black eye.

"Monty!" She screamed loud enough to rattle the windows.

"In here," Monty called from her office.

"Jude, hang tight…"

Jude sarcastically jiggled the handcuffs keeping him in place.

"Right," she said walked towards Monty's office, "why the hell is my son handcuffed to a chair with a black eye?"

"He got in a fight and you know as well as I do that it's policy when a student gets in a fight to get police involved."

"How long is he suspended?"

"Two weeks."

"Let him up…"

"You don't want to hear what happened?"

"I can talk to him."

"You expect him to tell you the truth?"

"I do."

"You have more faith in your teenage son than I do," Monty said.

"Let him up," Lena said ignoring the comment.

After Jude was released from the handcuffs, Lena escorted him from the building. She didn't speak until they arrived at the car, once the car was in motion, she spoke, "Wanna tell me what happened?"

"Not really."

"Tough shit. Speak."

"I got in a fight."

"I got that. With who? Why?"

"Dustin…Dustin…something."

"I know him. He's in my office once a day. Why?"

"He called me a faggot. He calls me a faggot every day. I just couldn't deal with it today."

"Is that why you wanted to stay home last night?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"Because at school, you're not vice principal…you're my mom. I don't need to be seen crying to my mommy everytime something bad happens. I wanted to take care of this alone, it just got out of hand."

"I'd agree. Where was Connor during all of this?"

"He hit Dustin too, but he ran off before anyone saw."

"Well, with his home life the way it is, I don't blame him."

"Am I in trouble?"

"We're gonna have to talk to mom…"

"No! This can't stay between us?"

"You got suspended for two weeks…don't you think she's gonna notice if you don't go to school for two weeks?"

"I don't want Callie to know."

"Why not?"

"She'll make a big deal out of it."

"It is a big deal. Unfortunately, you're going to have to deal with assholes like Dustin the rest of your life…people who think you're worth less than you actually are because you have a boyfriend. That I'm worth less than I actually am, because I have a wife. You…and myself have to learn how to deal with people like Dustin, without using our fists."

"I didn't even hit him…I missed. I hit the kid next to him…"

Lena tried her best to stifle a laugh.

"How do you handle people like Dustin?"

"Well, I remember that when I come home…I'm coming home to a loving wife and five kids…and Dustin, probably isn't going home to the same love and acceptance that I am," Lena said as she pulled the car into the driveway.

"What do you think mom is gonna say?"

"The same thing I did."

"What do you think Callie is gonna say?"

Lena shrugged, "I don't think she'll be angry with you. If that's what you're asking."

Lena and Jude walked into the house, Jude went up to his bedroom as Lena went into the living room.

"He has a black eye…" Callie said beginning to get up, Lena stopped her.

"It's been dealt with. If he wants to talk to you about it, he will."

Callie nodded, focusing again on the movie, moving into Stef's embrace as they spent the day watching movies, eating popcorn and playing board games.


	14. Chapter 14

A/n: the last couple reviews I've gotten mention how I've gotten Lena wrong, and how she wouldn't cuss at Jude, even though she hates violence. I'm aware. I'm doing something. Bare with me.

Later that night, Stef and Lena were getting ready for bed, and Stef looked at her wife, "What happened today?"

"Jude got in a fight."

"I talked to him."

"Then why are you asking me?"

"He said you cussed at him. That's not like you. What's up?"

"I don't like violence. You know that about me."

"Lena, will you talk to me…please?"

"Later," Lena said turning her back to Stef.

"Can we talk about it in therapy tomorrow?" Stef asked.

"I doubt it. I'm the only one who talks at those things…"

"I'm trying…"

"I know. But, I don't want to talk right now."

"Okay. I'll be here when you're ready," Stef said trying to put an arm around Lena, who squirmed out of her reach, "Okay, I'll give you space," Stef said moving her arm.

The next morning at breakfast, everyone ate quietly, mostly wondering why Jude had a black eye, finally after fifteen minutes of mind-numbing silence, Lena spoke, "Jude was in a fight. There. Move on. If he wants to talk about it, he will."

"Hey, Stef?" Callie asked.

"Yes, my love?"

"Have you heard anything from that assessment thing?"

"No, but those things typically take a few weeks to process. Don't worry."

Callie nodded.

"Alright, go to school! Learn something! Become the people I know you can be!" Lena called, "You're walking today."

Everyone but Jude groaned. "Sorry," Lena said, "Me and mom have places to be and Brandon's car isn't working right. Move."

 _Yesterday, Stef and Lena kept me home for a "mother/daughter day" the only other "mother/daughter day" I've had was when I was under Casey and Tom's roof and they only planned it so that they could tell me I was being shipped out of their house because they got pregnant…_

"Momma, you need to talk to me…" Stef said on the way to therapy.

"No I don't."

"I get it. You're mad at something. Did I do something?"

"No."

"Did one of the kids do something?"

"No."

"Then what, love? What?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That's my line."

"You're not the only one who gets to use it," Lena said rolling her eyes, "Leave it alone. When I am ready to talk to you, I will."

"Do you want to skip therapy today?" Stef asked.

"I thought you'd never ask," Lena said making an abrupt u-turn back towards the house.

Once home, Lena saw Jude watching television from the window, "Do we really want him to enjoy his suspension?"

"Do we really want to punish him for standing up for himself?"

"Violence is no way to stand up for yourself."

"It is when you don't feel you can talk to your lesbian moms about being gay…this is on us, and he doesn't need to be punished because we failed as parents."

"You think we failed as parents?" Lena asked.

"I do," Stef said, "Our son does not feel like he can come to us…about something that we can actually help with! We can help with being bulled because you're different! Because you're gay!"

"You were never bullied for being gay…"

"Not after winning about three fights at school. I lost about a dozen, though," Stef admitted, "I couldn't go to my religious parents about how I had a huge crush on my female lab partner. And I felt isolated and weird for it. Like, my being a lesbian made me somewhere less of a person. I get what he's going through, and I'm sure you do too. But, he can't come to us?"

"He said it has more to do with my being vice principal…"

"Sure it does," Stef said sarcastically.

They walked inside the house, Stef headed towards the kitchen and found Callie trying to sneak out the back door, "Young lady…"

Callie quickly turned around, busted.

"Want to tell me why you aren't in school?"

"I forgot something."

"Which was?"

Callie, not prepared for the question, quickly scanned the kitchen, looking for something believable, "my lunch," she said as she saw the metallic fridge.

"You could have borrowed money from your siblings and ate at school."

"Didn't want to bother them."

"Go."

"Will you drive me, so I'm not even later than I already am?"

"Yeah. Get in the car."

"Thanks."

On the way to the school, Stef turned down the radio and spoke, "I owe you an apology."

"For?"

"Reading your journal."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I just…I just want you to feel safe and I didn't know how else to go about helping you. I should have come to you…did Lena give you the journal with the key?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"What was yesterday about?"

"I told you. Just…blowin off steam."

"Okay."

"Did you have a mother/daughter day that didn't go well in the past?"

"Yeah. They used it to tell me I was moving homes."

"Did I tell you that?"

"No."

"There ya go. Callie, I get it. You're scared. But the one place on this entire planet that you can feel safe is in our house."

"I want to believe that. I do."

"Go to class," Stef said pulling up to Anchor Beach.

Once home again, Stef sat on the couch next to Stef and Jude and flipped off the television, "Mom!" he complained, "I was watching that!"

"I think this is more important," Lena said.

"I said I'm sorry for getting into a fight!"

"We know, but it goes beyond that…" Stef began, "Why don't you feel you can come to us? About being gay, of all things?"

Jude shrugged, trying to reach for the television remote, which Stef moved out of his reach.

"Stef?" Lena asked.

"Hm?"

"Walk away."

"Why?"

"Walk away."

"Okay, fine. I need to head to the office anyway…"

As Stef pulled the car onto the road, Lena looked at Jude, "There, I know your mom comes across as threatening. But, I want to make the point that you can talk to her just as well as you can me."

"I know."

"Talk to me. Why couldn't you come to us about something like this, something that we can help with?"

Jude shrugged.

"Yes you do. Talk to me."

"I wanted to handle my own problems…I thought I could handle Dustin on my own."

"Who made you feel like you had to handle your problems on your own?"

"Callie."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing."

"Jude, I'm not going to go tell your sister everything you say."

"She said people deal with their own problems…in the real world, nobody is gonna help me."

"Okay…how well has handling her own problems worked for her so far?"

"It hasn't."

"There. If you can't rely on your family, what's the point of having family?"

Jude nodded, "Sorry."

"We have decided not to ground you."

Jude raised an eyebrow, "What's the catch?"

"Nothing. No catch. We failed as parents, we didn't make sure you felt like you could come to us…about anything. You don't need to resort to violence, but you don't need to be punished because Me and your mom failed, okay?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"What was it like the first time you had sex?"

"Are you and Connor having sex?"

"No."

"Then why are you worried about it?"

Jude shrugged, "I was just curious."

"My first time having sex was awful."

"Why?"

"Well, for one. It was with a man. For two, it wasn't the right setting, I was in the back of a car, and third, sex it great, with the right person."

"Is mom the right person?"

"She is."

"Then why did you kiss Monty?"

"I didn't kiss Monty, she kissed me. There's a difference. I know I made a mistake…and I know I made an even bigger mistake by not telling Mom sooner. But, trust me…sex is great, and sex can be a powerful thing, with the right person. I am not condoning my thirteen year old son having sex, and I know for a fact nobody else in this house would, but I also know, urges happen. Is Connor pressuring you?"

"No. I think I'm pressuring myself."

"Why?"

"My head knows I'm gay…but…"

"If you have sex with Connor, you will be gay, yes?"

Jude nodded.

"Jude, I have seen how you look at Connor. I have seen how Connor looks at you. There is nothing more than love in both of your eyes when he walks through that door," Lena said pointing to the front door, "Trust me, there is more to being gay than you having sex with your boyfriend."

"How did you know you were gay…like, for sure?"

"I don't know, I just…knew."

Jude nodded, "I love him."

"I know."

"He loves me."

"I know."

"Okay…" Jude said.

Later that night, Callie sat on her bed scribbling notes into her journal as Stef and Lena walked in, "Can you put that down for a second?"

Callie placed the journal on her nightstand and looked at her moms.

"Why were you trying to skip school today?" Stef asked.

"I wasn't. I told you, I forgot my lunch. I came back and got it."

"Okay. Now tell us the truth," Lena demanded.

"I just couldn't do it."

"Do what?" Stef asked, "I mean, I'm a cop…and your momma is vice principal of your school…seems rather stupid to try and skip school."

"Just school. I've never skipped before, promise."

"Is something going on at school?"

"No. I was just overwhelmed. It happens."

"Sure," Lena remarked.

"Love, please…come talk to us, instead of breaking the law."

"Yeah, we cool?"

"Sure," Stef said kissing Callie ontop of the head.


	15. Chapter 15

A/n: Sorry for the delay, school started again, I needed a week or two to get back in the swing of things.

Early the next morning, so early the sun had not yet come up over the trees, Stef woke up to find Lena missing from bed. She noticed the bathroom was unoccupied, so, to satisfy her curiosity, she roamed around the house. There was a lingering thought that maybe she was with Monty, she quickly dismissed those thoughts are irrational. Or tried to. She found Lena, still at home, in the backyard, staring at a tree. Stef sat next to her, and gently held her hand, "I miss Frankie too."

"It's not that. Not entirely, anyway."

"What is it?"

"Can we talk later?"

"We're here. The kids are all asleep…why not right now?"

"Because if I talk to you. I have to admit that I'm being a selfish bitch."

"There you go cussing again, that's not like you at all. Lena…talk to me."

"No," Lena said rising from the ground and walking inside.

Stef quietly followed, and met Lena at the fridge, who was grabbing a beer.

"Baby, it's 3am. You have to work tomorrow."

"Okay," Lena said taking a swig of the beer.

"Drinking beer isn't like you, either."

"Dammit Stef! Leave it alone!" Lena yelled.

"You're gonna wake up the kids."

Lena took a deep sigh, took another swig of beer and walked off back to her spot in the backyard. Stef, despite the overwhelming urge to follow, decided it best not to.

"What's going on?" Brandon asked walking into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

"We're okay, go back to bed."

He nodded, and walked off, too tired to press the issue.

Stef tried to get back to sleep, but knowing her wife was suffering, and she couldn't help, because her wife didn't trust her with whatever was wrong, kept her awake. Tossing and turning.

Finally, several hours later, Lena returned to the bedroom. Thoroughly intoxicated.

"Lena, let me help you to bed."

"I'm…..f-f-f-f-f-f-f-ine."

"No, you're drunk. Come on," Stef said trying to help her wife climb into bed but also trying not to wake up the kids. Eventually, after several minutes of trying, Lena was finally in bed, with Stef next to her. Her questions only mounting. She was almost asleep when she awoke to the sound of Lena puking in the bathroom. Stef sat next to Lena, who had her head placed in the bowl of the toilet.

"How many beers did you drink?"

"How many beers did we have in the house?"

"Couple six packs."

"There ya go," she said vomiting again.

"I know the last thing you want to do right now is talk to me about whatever the hell is going on in that head of yours. So I'm just gonna sit here with you,"

Lena tried to speak but only responded with more vomit.

Stef gently rubbed her back, sitting quietly.

That morning, Lena, obviously hungover. Walked into the kitchen.

"Are you going to work today?" Stef asked, pouring her wife a cup of coffee.

"No."

"Good idea."

"You got drunk on a Tuesday?" Jesus rhetorically asked.

"Jesus, shut it," Stef quickly replied, "Go to school ya'll! Jude, stick around."

"Where else am I going?" he sarcastically asked.

"Fair enough."

"I'm going back to bed," Lena replied, clumsily walking off.

"Is momma gonna be okay?" Jude asked.

"Yep. But that, my wonderful son, is why you don't drink. Okay…so, I wanted Momma here for this, but that's not going to happen. So, you and I are gonna have a discussion."

"I already talked to Momma about sex."

"Good. But that's not what I meant. What kind of questions do you have?"

"About what?"

"Anything you think I'll have the answer to."

"How'd you know you were gay?"

"I started realizing I was into women when I was about your age."

"But…you married Mike."

"To please my parents."

"You don't love Mike?"

"I do. But it's not the same kind of love that me and your momma have."

"But you've had sex with him?"

"Multiple times," Stef said with a laugh, "It just took me longer than it should have to realize that my happiness should not be dependent on what my parents think."

"Do you…approve of Connor?"

"Very much so."

"Cool."

"There has to be more question floating around your head."

"It's awkward."

"Why?"

"You're my mom!"

"And you, my wonderful son, need to know you can ask me anything on this planet."

"I….um…." He shook his head violently, "I can't tell you."

"Did you guys have sex?"

"No."

"Okay, that's out of the way. What's up?"

"We were…um…."

"Can you write it down?"

"No."

"Are you afraid I'm gonna get mad?"

"No. It's just awkward."

"How can I make it less awkward?"

Jude shrugged, tightly shut his eyes as if it would erase the words about to come out of his mouth, "We were watching porn and I got a boner."

Stef tried to stifle a smirk as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Wanna know a secret?"

Jude nodded.

"Me and your momma watch porn. It's okay. Just…there's some weird porn out there. Be careful."

Jude nodded.

"Had you watched porn before?"

"No."

"Were you watching it to get…in the mood…or just out of curiosity?"

"Curiosity. Connor found a bunch of DVDs in the basement. There was a bunch of magazines, too."

"What happened when you got the boner?"

"Do I have to tell you?" Jude asked squirming in his seat.

"Because you answered like that, yes," Stef said, suddenly wishing Lena hadn't drank all the alcohol.

"He wanted to give me a hand job."

"Did he?"

Jude nodded.

"Did you give him one?"

Jude nodded, staring at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with his mom.

"It's okay. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Really?" Jude asked, still staring at the floor.

"Not at all. It's a perfectly natural part of being a human being, and a teenager at that. I'm not condoning you having sex, I know for a fact neither does Lena. But we both understand urges happen. Do you need condoms?"

"Lena gave me some."

"Good."

Jude bit his lower lip, and stared at the floor.

"What's up?" Stef asked.

"I liked it…"

"Of course you did. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable."

"How often are you supposed to have it?"

"There's not a number…you have it when the urge strikes. I would say, at Connor's house, you need to be careful. Especially around his dad."

"Yeah. Can I go watch tv?"

"Sure."

Jude walked off, and Stef left the kitchen to find Lena passed out on their bed. She smiled, as she finished getting ready for her day.


	16. Chapter 16

That evening, Stef came home from her day, exhausted, but was greeted by all five children trying to block her entrance to the living room.

"Hi," Stef said.

"How was your day?" Brandon asked.

"Fine. What's in there I'm not supposed to see?"

"Nothing," Jesus said.

"Then move."

The kids hesitated, but after a few seconds they cleared a path for Stef. Stef found Lena laying on the floor, passed out, with several beer bottles around her. Stef returned to the hallway, irritated.

"First off, don't protect momma. Second, momma is going through some stuff, she can't tell me what right now, and we need to let her deal with whatever it is, okay? Third, how long has she been like that?"

"Since we got home," Mariana said, "Brandon found her."

"Okay, just…let her be. I'll clean up," Stef said with a sigh, the kids began to walk off, but Stef gently grabbed Callie by the shirt, "Stick around, love," Stef leaned against the wall of the hallway, "Why'd you skip school today?"

"I didn't."

"So all your teachers marked you absent for all your classes?"

"I guess."

"You can tell me the truth, or you can be grounded for two weeks."

"Two weeks. Got it," Callie said walking off.

Stef, realizing she had bigger problems, decided not to follow Callie but to clean up the beer bottles surrounding her wife. She sighed as she tossed them in the trash. She was by no means a religious person, but she found herself praying that her wife would talk to her.

"So, mom found you skipped school, huh?" Mariana asked in the bedroom.

"I didn't think she wouldn't."

"Why not just tell her what's going on?"

"Because she's worried about Momma. I don't need her worried about me too."

"I can worry about more than one thing at once, ya know," Stef said from the doorway.

"Is Momma an alcoholic?" Jude asked, coming into the bedroom.

"No. Not at all. She's just…coping."

"With alcohol," Mariana argued.

"Guys, I promise, momma is not an alcoholic. Okay?" Stef walked off towards her bedroom, Callie followed, but didn't enter. She instead waited in the hallway. On Stef's bed she found a journal.

 _How do I tell Stef that Liam found me at school? How do I tell her that's why I haven't gone the last week? How do I tell her that the thought of him makes my spine turn to jelly? He doesn't do anything at school, but he's there. I don't know why, I don't know if it has to do with me, or another student. But it sucks, and it sucks even more than Lena hasn't been around, because she's been too drunk to function and I refuse to go to Monty about anything. Ever._

Stef, after reading quickly walked into the hallway to find Callie waiting, "Come on," Stef said ushering Callie into the bedroom. Callie sat on the bed, silently. 

"First, something like this, you need to tell Monty. But more importantly, why couldn't you come to me?"

Callie shrugged, "I didn't know how."

"What's he say to you?"

"Nothing. He's just…there."

"I'm not arguing that Liam is a terrible human being…"

"But…"

"You gotta go to school. Why don't I take tomorrow off and we can talk to Monty, together? I highly doubt your momma is gonna make it in."

Callie nodded.

"You're not alone in this world, you know that, right?"

Callie nodded.

"Can I ask why you told your brother he is?"

"Huh?"

"Jude got in a fight because you told him nobody was going to help him in the real world…what's up with that?"

"I was just venting."

"Love, use your journal, come to me, come to your momma. Don't confuse Jude…"

Callie nodded.

"Go get some sleep."

"Could I….maybe…."

"Yeah, you can sleep in here tonight."

Callie smiled, crawled into bed as Stef turned off the light.

"I've never had this happen before," Callie announced.

"What?" Stef sleepily asked.

"A parent let me sleep with them when I'm scared."

"Not even your mom?"

"No. She wanted us to learn how to comfort ourselves."

"I think there's value to that….as an infant."


	17. Chapter 17

A/n: I promise, I didn't forget. Writers block and a combination of University life have gotten to me. Sorry. :/

The next morning, Stef and Callie sat in Monty's office. Stef did most of the talking.

"I know he's here," Monty said.

"Because he's here. My daughter is afraid to come to school."

"Liam works for the city. The city is doing some work here."

"The city needs to get someone else to do that work."

"I'll look into it. Okay?"

"Good. In the meantime, I'm calling Callie out of school."

"Stef, you're a cop. You know as well as I do how beaucracy works. It could be weeks before I can convince the city to get someone else to take his place, and that's even assuming they have the staff right now, and chances are, they don't. Do you really want Callie missing that much school?"

"What I want is my daughter to feel safe. I don't want her to feel like she's being forced to take her clothes off for him, and that's exactly how she feels right now, or we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Fine. Do you want her work sent home, so she doesn't fall too far behind?"

"Sure. Give it to Brandon. Mariana and Jesus would just leave it somewhere."

Monty nodded, "I have a meeting in fifteen minutes that I need to get to. Are we good?"

"Better than ever," Stef said sarcastically.

"How's Lena?" Monty asked.

"Fine. She should be back in a few days."

"Must be some hell of a virus she's got."

"Yeah, luckily she hasn't given it to anyone else," Stef said leaving the office with Callie behind her. On the way home, Callie spoke.

"Stef?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

"If I knew what was wrong with Lena…would you want me to tell you?"

"Do you know?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you known?"

"Last night. She was on the phone with someone…"

"A woman?"

"I didn't ask."

"Of course not. Sorry. Yes, for the love of all things holy, what is wrong with her?"

"She lost a child."

"Yes. Frankie. We all miss Frankie. But there are ways to handle your grief that don't involve drinking."

"No…Isabella."

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard her talking on the phone last night…she feels like she lost two children. Frankie…died. And as you guys decided you were going to adopt Isabella, Ana decides to keep her. She feels bad she didn't fight for custody."

"We never even talked about fighting for custody."

Callie shrugged, "That's what's wrong, either way."

"Thanks. I'll take care of it. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Good. Now tell me the truth."

"My nightmares are back…"

"About Liam?"

"Yeah."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Don't you need to focus on Lena?"

"Lena will be fine. Stop deflecting the issue. How does that make you feel?" Stef repeated.

"Like a whore…" Callie said softly.

"That's a strong word."

"You asked."

"You, my love, are anything but a whore, and just for clarification, you're not a slut, either. Okay?"

Callie nodded, unconvinced.

"I'm gonna talk to Lena…" Stef said pulling into the driveway, "You and Jude entertain yourselves, I'll take you guys to lunch later, okay?"

"Sure."

Stef and Callie walked into the house, Stef found Lena passed out on the couch, but heard the sound of running water from the kitchen. Jude was dumping the bottles of beer down the drain, he jumped slightly as he saw Stef and Callie.

"Sorry. I'll pay for the beer. I just…"

"You're good. That's what I was going to do," Stef said with a smile, "Thanks for being concerned."

Jude emptied the last bottle and walked off towards his room followed by Callie.

Stef walked into the living room and sat next to Lena, who snuggled up to her.

"How did we do this in your twenties?" Lena sarcastically asked.

"I got a lot of practice in my teens," Stef replied, "Can we talk?"

"Once I'm sober."

"You haven't been sober for about a week. Can we talk?"

"No."

"Fine. I'll talk, you listen. I get that losing Frankie was hard. It was hard on everyone, but I know it was harder on you because you got to feel her kick inside of you. I am by no means dismissing that. But we are all here for you…that bottle of beer, once it's empty, is only going to make you feel emptier. That beer isn't going to bring Frankie back…that beer isn't going to replace the love you have for a child the world robbed us of getting to raise. But that beer will rob us of getting closer to the children we do have. The children, that despite what they say, they do need us. Do you know what Callie has been dealing with this week? Liam. Liam works for the city, and the city is doing some work at Anchor Beach. But she didn't want to go to Monty, and she couldn't go to you, because you were too drunk….and I know you wanted to adopt Isabella, and the world robbed of us that too. Isabella would not have made your life whole again. Frankie would still be gone, no matter if we adopted again her. But you know who's life Isabella does make whole? Ana's. She's finally at a point in her life where she can be a mom and I personally think that's fantastic. It's a reason to drink from celebration, not as a coping mechanism."

"We should have fought for Isabella," Lena said, beginning to cry.

"No. Isabella needs to be with her mom. That is where she belongs. What we need to do, is fight for the five children we do have. Mariana and Jesus are going to get to build a relationship with Isabella, and in turn, make a stronger one with Ana, and really…isn't that all we ever wanted for them?" Stef asked, stroking Lena's hair as Lena laid her head on her lap and sobbed.


	18. Chapter 18

"I know, I know…" Lena said, keeping her head on Stef's lap, "What are we doing about Liam?"

"I'm keeping Callie home from school until the city assigns someone else."

"Stef…I'm sure that what Liam put Callie through was deplorable…but she has to go to school."

"Brandon is bringing her homework home. She isn't going."

"She is," Lena remarked.

"Sleep on the couch tonight, k?" Stef said rising from her seat and walking off and returning with a pillow and blankets.

"Stef, I need you."

"And our daughter needs to feel safe, dammit!"

"Stef…it's okay," Callie said appearing from the hallway, "Until Lena comes back to school…I'll go to Monty if I have any problems. If I stay home…that's just proving he still runs my life."

"Are you sure?"

"No. But I need to go to school. I can't let Liam win again."

"The first time wasn't your fault, yes?"

"I know," Callie said unconvinced, "Could I talk to you?"

"Me or both of us?"

"You."

"Sure," Stef said leading Callie to the porch, outside was the closest place they were going to get any privacy, "What's up?"

"Am I in trouble?"

"Did you do something?"

"I was a narc."

"On Lena? No. You did the right thing. I love her and I can do a lot of things but reading minds is not one of them. I would have never guess that's what was bothering her. Why would you assume you were going to be in trouble?"

"Narcing isn't exactly good."

"There are some secrets that cannot be kept. This was one of them."

"Yeah, okay."

"Go inside…do your homework. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

Stef walked back into the house and found Lena still laying on the couch, "Callie okay?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"I will be. I think. Would you be offended if I went to therapy on my own?"

"No. If it works for you, go."

"I just…"

"Therapy doesn't work for me, Lena. That's fine. If you need to go to therapy. Go. I'll support it. I need to go talk to the twins."

"Are they okay?"

"So far," Stef said dismissively.

Stef sat with Jesus and Mariana in the master bedroom, "I'm sure you heard the news that Ana is keeping Isabella, yes?"

"Yeah," they both replied.

"And how do we feel about that?"

"I'm cool. It's whatever," Jesus said, "I mean…I'd rather my sister be here. But if Ana can take care of her. That's cool."

"Good. Mariana?"

"Next question, please."

"Jesus, go see what Jude and Connor are doing."

"They're making out on Jude's bed."

"Leave, please," Stef said, "Mariana, answer my question," Stef said once Jesus had left the room.

"Abandoned."

"Elaborate, please."

"I don't want to talk about this," Mariana said leaving the room before Stef could respond.

After dinner, Conner, Jude, Stef and Lena all sat at the kitchen table.

"Mom and I think it's great the two of you are getting closer and building a stronger relationship. But we need to set some rules if you're going to continue to date, okay?" Lena said.

"Shoot," Conner said excitedly.

"You're excited for rules?" Jude asked.

"I'm excited I can talk about my relationship with an adult who actually gets what I'm going through and doesn't hit me when I bring it up."

"The two of you can talk to us about anything. Conner, you are as much a part of this family as Jude is…that being said the same rules apply as with any other sibling. Conner, we will not tell Jude anything you say, Jude, we will not tell Conner anything you say, fair?" Stef said.

"Yeah," Conner said, "What kind of rules do you have?"

"We don't care if you guys make out like you were tonight. We don't even care if you wear shirts but the bedroom door stays open. Connor…my love, we understand that your dad is not the…"

"You can say it. He's a homophobe."

"Your dad is not the…friendliest…towards gay people," Stef continued, "But when you're over here he needs to be aware."

"That sucks."

"Why?"

"Because he's banned me from this house after he caught me and Jude making out. He thinks I'm at the skatepark right now."

"Conner, we can't have you lying to him," Lena reprimanded.

"It's not the first time I've lied to hang out with a boy…or Jude. Can we please abide by the _don't ask, don't tell_ motto so that I can see my boyfriend?" Conner asked, but almost begged, as he gently grabbed Jude's hand.

Lena looked at Stef, who looked at her, and they both looked at Conner and Jude who were smiling at each other, "Yes. But that does not mean we are condoning your lying. Understood?"

"Understood. If he's in a good mood I tell him I'm here for a school project or something. I don't lie about it one hundred percent of the time at least not a total lie."

"Now…for the fun one…sex...is…" Stef began.

"Mom! No!" Jude yelled.

"Jude, it needs discussed and please don't yell at your mom," Lena responded.

"Jude, it's okay. I wanna talk about this. Could I come to you guys with….questions?"

"Absolutely and if you can't get over here…you can text one of us," Stef said writing down her and Lena's phone numbers on a scratch piece of paper laying nearby, "Did you have questions?"

"Lots."

"Jude, you've heard this speech. Go entertain yourself," Stef said handing Conner the piece of paper, "Shoot," Stef said once Jude was out of earshot.

"Do we have to wear condoms?"

"Yes. Do you need some?" Lena asked.

"No. My Dad gave me some. But…why? I can't get Jude pregnant."

"Condoms also help prevent diseases."

"I don't have any diseases."

"and thank God," Stef said, "But someone else you've been with, might have."

"I've never been with anyone."

"I mean in general."

"Oh."

"What else?" Lena asked.

"What if…size…is an issue?"

"You're not done growing. If you're judging yourself to the older kids in gym class, don't," Lena replied.

"No. The other way."

"Oh, it's too big?" Stef asked trying to stifle a laugh.

Conner nodded.

"Well, you're still not done growing and neither is Jude, you've gotta remember that."

"Yeah. Okay. Do you guys watch porn?"

"Sometimes," Lena replied.

"Do you watch just lesbian porn or do you watch straight porn too?"

"Mostly lesbian…but sometimes straight porn. Why?"

"The other night, I was watching straight porn and I got a boner. But I'm confused. I love Jude and the thought of having sex with a chick kind of grosses me out."

"Porn is designed to give you a boner. It's normal. Straight porn gets us off sometimes."

"Oh, cool."

"Does your dad really not talk to you about sex?" Stef asked.

"If it's not about sports my dad doesn't want to talk about it. But that's okay…as long as you guys are okay with me coming to you?"

"one hundred percent," Lena said with a smile.


	19. Chapter 19

A/n: Hey guys, I know it's been forever. I needed some time to take care of some personal garbage, but I'm back.

That night, Lena and Stef were the discussing the events of the day while laying in bed, "How did you handle it?" Lena asked.

"Handle what?"

"Having a father who thought his child being gay was the worst thing imaginable?"

"I married Mike."

"I mean, before you married Mike, before we met. When you were their age?"

"I did exactly what Connor is doing. Told my parents I was going to study at my boyfriend's house. Went to my girlfriend's house and made out, hoping my dad didn't find out."

"Did he?"

"A couple times. But there was this guy in high school, Parker, he was in love with me, but knew I was gay, so anytime I needed a cover, he'd help me out. Why?"

"I just…I can't imagine living in a house where you can't be….you. I didn't have to tell my parents I was gay," Lena said with a sigh, "I hope our children never feel that way," she said to herself more than Stef.

"You didn't?"

"No. It didn't take them very long to figure out that my brother wasn't hiding his Playboy stash in my room."

"How'd they react?"

"They hugged me, said it was okay, and we ate dinner."

"How was therapy?"

"It was okay. I'm still getting to know him."

"Him?"

"I figured because of all the drama between me and Monty, you'd be more comfortable if I went to a male therapist."

"While I appreciate the effort, you and I both know men and women can have sex too," Stef said with a slight laugh, "If you feel you need to go to a woman therapist, go to a woman therapist, I trust you."

Lena uttered a sigh of relief and cuddled up to her wife's body. They had both closed their eyes when all they heard was an ear piercing scream of terror.

"It's Callie and Mariana at it again…"Lena said, not opening her eyes, "But I'm asleep."

"Me too," Stef said.

They waited a moment to see if the girls would settle things themselves, they didn't.

"You're closer to the door," Lena said.

"You owe me," Stef said getting out of bed, frustrated, slipping on a pair of sweats nearby and walking

to their bedroom.

"What the hell is going on?!" Stef yelled.

"Mariana won't give me my journal!" Callie yelled.

"Mariana, give it to her, now! I am tired I have an early meeting in the morning and am in no mood to play this game with you two!"

"I'll give it back after she tells you why there's bruises on her body!"

"Mariana! Don't be a snitch! I can handle it! Give me my journal!"

"Mariana," Stef said outstretching her hand, "Give me the journal," Stef took the journal, making sure Callie saw it remained unopened and handed it to Callie, who put it where it belonged, "Callie…come with me. Now," Stef said ushering her out of the bedroom and into the master bathroom, Stef blocked the door once they were both in, "What bruises?"

"I fell. It's not a big deal."

Stef mentally scanned the areas of Callie's body that she could see, "I'm a cop, if you're gonna lie at least make it a good one. What bruises?"

"Stef, leave it alone!"

"No. I have tomorrow off, I can sit in here all night. What bruises?"

"You said you had a meeting?"

"Because I wanted the two of you to shut up and quit bickering. You need to show me the bruises you have and show me right now, young lady!"

"They're old."

"I don't care. Show me."

"Make me," Callie said crossing her arms in defiance.

"Wow," Stef said with a sigh, unsure of how to handle this level of defiance from a teenager, especially one who was starting to open up to her. She didn't want to ruin the level of trust she had worked very hard to build, and keep, but as Callie's mother, she needed to know who was hurting her daughter, "Okay. I will," Stef spent the next few moments hunting in the cabinet while still managing to block Callie's only exit, she located the wet-wipes and amongst Callie's tears, wiped off the makeup that she was using to try and hide the bruises, "Where else?"

"Leave it alone!" Callie said finally breaking through the door, trying to run, but only bumped into Lena, who walked into the bathroom.

"Where else?" Lena repeated.

Callie began to sob, "Why can't you leave it alone?"

"Because our daughter is being hurt and if we turned a blind eye while our daughter was being hurt, we'd be pretty shitty parents," Stef replied, "Where else?"

"Lena needs to leave."

"Lena is staying right here. You're going to have to show her too, and I imagine it'll be easier to just show us both at the same time," Stef said, "Where else?"

Callie slowly removed her shirt and showed Stef and Lena the bruises covering her torso, "Now can you leave it alone?"

"Not at all. Let me see your back," Stef said.

Callie sighed, turned around, and revealed more bruises to her back.

"Put your shirt back on, take your pants off."

"I promise, you've seen them all. Do I have to?" Callie begged as she put her shirt back on.

"No. Who hit you?" Lena demanded.

"Liam. But it's not what you think."

"What happened?"

"Jude and Connor were holding hands at lunch, he called them pretty derogatory names. We got in a fight."

"Love, if there is one thing I absolutely love about you it's the way you try and protect Jude, and Connor, but you cannot go putting yourself in situations where you'll get hurt. Jude and Connor are probably very much against you fighting Liam," Stef replied.

"Probably."

"Since it was at school, are we looking at suspension?"

"Only if Monty wants it to be. I'm not bringing it up, though," Lena said.

"I'm sorry," Callie apologized.

"You're okay," Lena said, "Why don't you go get some sleep."

"I need to talk to Mariana," Stef said.

"Can it wait?" Lena asked.

"Probably. But we're up."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know yet."

Stef and Mariana sat at the kitchen table, each eating a bowl of ice cream, "Can you elaborate on what you meant…?"

"About?"

"You feel abandoned?"

Mariana sighed, "Why is Isabella worth getting sober for and not me or Jesus, or the baby she lost?"

"She lost a baby?"

"Before me and Jesus."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"Yeah…"

"Sweetheart, I don't think you'll ever have an answer. I don't think Ana has an answer."

"Is how I'm feeling….okay?"

"I don't think there's a right way or a wrong way to feel in this situation. Your brother acts tough, but he probably feels the exact same way that you do."

"You think?"

"I do."

"I cried myself to sleep last night. I'm sixteen, who does that?"

"Most sixteen year old girls. Being a teenager is confusing for a plethora of reasons, and you have being adopted to add to that list."

"I love being adopted."

"I didn't doubt you did."


End file.
